Be Humble and Thankful...

Be Humble and Thankful

-Prem Guragain, Anaheim, CA

“I found this Diamond Rolex watch. Here is the check for $10,000. Look at this gold bracelet. Wow, $2,000 cash.” Robert gets excited hearing those comments from the team leader. These young people, in their neighborhood had organized a “donation campaign” during Thanksgiving Day. Their team leader Michael had the idea of going from door to door in this wealthy neighborhood and ask for donations. Many residents didn’t bother to open the door but these enthusiastic young people didn’t give up. They made a list of 500 homes and made up their mind to go to each household and kindly ask for donations for a great cause. They had made a nice flyer that read, “Please help those who are less fortunate. You will be abundantly blessed with this offering. Random Acts of Kindness never goes unnoticed. Please help the helpless.”

Today, when all the 20 volunteers got together and in front of their mentor, they opened up the boxes since most of the offerings were in the envelopes or in boxes and nobody would know before they reached their office, which they got for free from one of the local businessmen. When people ask them why you are all doing this, Michael would answer, “We would like to help the less fortunate children and their families in this world who don’t have enough food to eat and have no clothes to wear. While rest of the town is having fun in Thanksgiving, these children are expecting someone to give them something to eat or some clothes to wear.”

When they finalized all the cash, jewelry, other valuable articles, it turned out to be approximately $425,000. People could see their enthusiasm, the passion and belief in their eyes when they went out to ask for donations. They had only one mission : to help at least 500 children and their families in Somalia. They have heard and read so much about their poverty and nobody was taking care of them. It all started with Michael, when he was an orphan, who had migrated from Somalia. He told his story, “I don’t know who are my father and mother. When I grew up, I came to know from one of the seniors in our village that I was being sponsored by an American family, while I was in orphanage. This kind hearted couple took me in their home in Los Angeles, CA when I was 6 years old. I grew up with other rich kids in my neighborhood in Beverly Hills area, went to Stanford University, finished my Eye surgeon course and now have been an established doctor in Beverly Hills, CA.”

Nobody could tell that Michael could have been picked up from an orphanage home in Somalia. Today, when Michael sees all the fancy stuff: expensive cars, mansions, private jets, connection with the most influential people in the society, he still goes back to his private room where he had kept a small box, which contains the dress that he was wearing when he was found by these kind American couple in Somalia. Whenever he feels as if he forgot his root, he goes to this room, shuts the door, takes out those dirty, filthy clothes and thanks God for what he has now. Once his wife Josephine asked him why he locks himself in that room, he didn’t tell her the true story in the beginning but after her repeated question, he revealed the secret. Josephine cried with him and was so honored to be the wife of such a humble person.

Now, Michael is the Director, Board of Trustee, Chairman of so many non-profit organizations all over USA. When somebody asks his secret of success, he smiles and says, “Believe in your heart that ‘You are the GREATEST MIRACLE in the world’ and God has made you for a very special purpose. There is nothing that you can’t do if you put your mind behind it, and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER give up.”

By looking at Michael’s happy and successful life, it forces one to think, “Why are so many people wasting their valuable life trying to put others down and neither they become successful in their profession nor help others succeed.” Life is so precious and nobody knows when is that last breathe is taken. Many people live their life as if they will always be here, not knowing that one day, they have to leave this world too. I was fortunate enough to meet Michael in one of the charity donation events and got a chance to ask him few questions: “How can you start an organization that helps the community to be better : in spirituality, right education, creating values, protecting cultural values.” To all my questions, Michael gave me one simple answer: “Find the right leadership, always be UNITED and work as a TEAM. Remember, in TEAM, there is no ‘I’. If you follow your heart, know that this is the RIGHT THING to do even though nobody knows your name, be humble and caring, you will succeed in anything you do in life. Any project you get involved in, you will be very successful and people will be searching for you everywhere whenever there is something new going on.”

As I sat down and saw this book in front of me, I realized that it has been 5 years since Michael had left this planet, I was amazed to go back and read the page where he had personally autographed his book, that just became International best seller after his death. He had lived his life in so much social service that everybody wants to know everything about Michael’s life: CNN, Time, People, Los Angeles Times, and other media from across the world. His wife Josephine told the news reporter that people want to know about Michael and want to write his biography in 50 other languages. Michael never wanted publicity while he was alive and he had very simple philosophy: “If you think you are helpless, go out there and help others who need help more than you do. God will come to your rescue.” How true that is. What would happen to this planet earth if we have some more Michael in every corner of our society. How many of us have written our obituary ? We know that once our time is over on earth, we have to leave and go but what are we going to leave behind: Mortgage Payment, Credit Card debts and all kinds of Debts to our children as a gift or something for them to be proud of their parents who created something great so that they can follow their footsteps. Something to think about before it is too late.
-Prem Guragain, Anaheim, CA

Believe You can do it

At one point in my life, I was a school teacher at Itahara, Morang, Nepal, teaching Mathematics and Science to fourth grade students. I would spend my spare time in other creative activities: painting, reading literature, art, meditation, writing and mostly dreaming about better future at night, after everybody went to sleep. When the whole family went to bed, I would go outside the house and sit on the small bench, looking up on the clear sky watching moon and beautiful stars. That would give me tremendous amount of peace and hope about the beautiful future.

In school, I had few good friends who were teachers, teaching various other subjects. After school hours, we would regularly meet and discuss about some creative topics: poems, drama, spiritual discussion, philosophical talk. One night, I had invited all my friends for dinner. I sat for evening prayer and meditation and after some time, I felt deep peace during meditation. Even though my mother kept on calling me to come for dinner, I told her to let my friends eat since I was not feeling any more hungry but was in a happy state and didn’t want to come out of it. It was the first time in my entire life that I had felt the inner peace, satisfaction and happiness. Out of few teachers that I befriended, one of them would always encourage me and say, “Prem, anything you put your mind to, YOU CAN DO IT.” After many years have passed, those words still resonate in my mind as if it was just yesterday.

How many of us are fortunate enough to have someone who cares us enough and without expecting anything from us, says “YES, YOU CAN DO IT.” In today’s fast moving world, it is almost very hard to find someone like that. Because of the tremendous growth in information technology, we don’t spend enough time to take a break for all these external noises and find some time to contemplate and do something for someone without any selfish desire attached to it. I am not being philosophical here but even for our own overall good health, it is very useful to do some “random acts of kindness”. Just by encouraging one person, we impact many people who would be benefited in so many ways by that one individual.

Michael Jordan had somebody to encourage him; Tiger Woods was fortunate to have his own father as a source of encouragement; Mahatma Gandhi had someone to tell him, “You can do it”; in the midst of darkness, Abraham Lincoln had good friends to visit him in White House to just to listen to him so that Lincoln could get courage to face the difficult time and so on. These were just ordinary people who did a little bit extra everyday to be an extraordinary. Just little ‘extra’ everyday can accumulate in long run to make anybody extraordinary from an ordinary (average) life.

The more I read the biography of extraordinary human beings (as public calls them), I find them to be more and more ordinary human beings who had strong desire, discipline, determination, passion and enthusiasm to accomplish something that their heart desired. But they had always been self-motivated individuals, who either had someone to tell them “You can do it” or their own strong inner voice telling them again and again, “Yes You can do it.” Positive affirmation repeated many times a day, can totally transform an ordinary human being to become extraordinary. I remember reading about Henry Ford who had his favorite saying, “Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.” Nothing is impossible to an individual who believes that he/she can do anything and is inspired to do something that is beneficial for humanity.

My parents had always encouraged me to be the best in whatever work I do. Even though I grew up in a village, my father had blessed us with two private tutors so that we could get good education. When I see young people getting sidetracked from their education and following the wrong path, it hurts me so much and I always wish that somebody in their life could just tell them, “Yes, you can do it. You have what it takes to be the Number One in anything you do in life.” We need leadership role in our family, society so that more young people stand up and follow their own dream instead of following sports and music superstars on television. Leadership starts from home and when home environment is positive, children grow up to feel important and their self-image grows. Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho-Cybernetics talks about self-image, “The ‘self-image’ is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self-image and you change the personality and the behavior.”

When we analyze our thought process, most of the people are influenced by other people’s opinion about themselves and do not have their own belief system. It is easier to believe in others but not in ourselves. It needs to change, otherwise we do not achieve what our dreams and goals in life are. Mostly, it is because of fear which is created in our mind from external sources. People have fears about so many things which stop the process of creative thinking. I like what Napoleon Hill in his best selling book “Think and Grow Rich” says, “There are six basic fears, with some combination of which every human suffers at one time or another. Most people are fortunate if they do not suffer from the entire six. Named in the order of their most common appearance, they are:
The fear of poverty
The fear of criticism
The fear of ill health
The fear of loss of love of someone
The fear of old age and
The fear of death. ”

When we analyze FEAR, it is nothing but False Evidence Appearing Real. Fear seems to appear real because we are not living in the moment and mind is going either in the past or future doubts and uncertainties. Once self-image starts growing, fear starts getting less and less as fear and faith do not stay at the same place. When faith in ourselves and our abilities increases, fear naturally starts decreasing. When we start living in the moment, most of the fear and uncertainty disappear and we truly live a life of value and fulfillment. As it took some time to accumulate all the fear and feeling of nothingness, it takes time to believe in ourselves and when we start choosing positive thoughts, by associating with positive people, reading positive books, listening to positive CDs, it will become second nature to say to others, “Yes, You can do it.” And it becomes reciprocal as others will start encouraging us too by saying, “Yes, You can do it.” Let’s help ourselves by helping others as Zig Ziglar, the world famous motivational speaker and author says, “You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help other people get what they want.”

Today, when I look back and think of all the people who encouraged me, it is only handful of them. Next time, when we feel like saying something negative to our friends, family members or strangers, think really hard and just change the thought process and say, “Yes, You can do it.” This will benefit the person who hears it and will never forget you and it eventually helps you because you feel great by making someone feel important. Making someone feel important is one of the most important characteristics of a successful human being. You can become extraordinary from ordinary by just adding little bit ‘extra’ in our ordinary life. Give it a serious thought and see the miracle happening in front of your eyes.

-Prem Guragain, Anaheim, CA

Create the Habit of Forgiveness...

"You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty."
-Mahatma Gandhi

What is the first thought that comes to our mind when we think of the word "forgiveness" ? Let's explore on it. For many of us, it is about some saints or great human beings in the history. Every religion, culture and society has its own story about forgiveness. When I was growing up, I would hear elder people giving examples of great human beings who had forgiving heart. As these words got repeated, I wanted to know how one could cultivate such a forgiving heart. In our culture where I grew up, we would not talk to our closed friends and family members for long time, even for a small wrong that was done to us, knowingly or unknowingly. It is as if, the person who did wrong, had to ask for apology and then only, we would resume our relationship.

When we realize about it, this is so obvious as "to spend time thinking about hurting someone is to let that person occupy our mind, without paying any rent." Just pause for a moment and think about it again. When we spend time thinking about someone who did wrong to us or if we don't like that person, we spend our time, energy and we don't even know if that person really knows that we are sending negative thoughts toward him or her. As scientists have proved that our brain does twenty thousand trillion calculations per second, why not use it to solve problems that are significant, instead of sitting together with some more negative minded people and gossip about the other human beings of topics that make no creative sense at the end !

I always believe on having goals about the future so that we rarely have spare time to go back in the past and dwell on negative things..It is good to learn from past mistakes and not to repeat the same mistake again. To carry loads of regrets, unforgiving moments, hatred, jealousy, negative feelings towards others, criticizing and condemning, harm us more than anybody else. It is already heavy to carry the loads daily and especially, if we carry the loads from the past, it becomes very hard to think right and be productive now. I had read about this Buddhist monk who was returning back to monastery with senior monk. While they were about to cross the river that was flooded, senior monk saw a woman who was waiting for help to cross the river. The senior monk offered her help and carried her and took her on the other side of the river. While he reached the other side of the river, he went his way back to monastery with the young monk. This young monk had so many questions in his mind when he saw this, "why he touched the woman ?", "are we not supposed to stay away from woman" etc. etc. When they reached the monastery, the young monk was so disturbed with this thought and after almost 12 hours or so, he could not stop thinking about it and went to the senior monk to ask about what had happened. The senior monk, with a smile on his face, replied, "Young man, I had left her on the bank of the river long time ago and stopped thinking about it but it seems as if you are still carrying her."

In life, however great thoughts we keep on thinking every day, there comes some time when it becomes very hard to let go of many unhappiness thoughts about our childhood and our youth. It then becomes just philosophical to think about forgiving someone who had hurt us in the past but once we know the benefits we get by forgiveness, it becomes easier to practice it. When we take our time and make a list of all the hurts we think we had gone through in our life, it becomes much easier to forgive that person or circumstances and move ahead, towards more productive life. Researchers have proved that once we go through the list or hurts in the past, look at them for the last time, tear it apart and either burn it or flush it in the toilet. From that moment, we can live a life of no regrets and even somebody tries to bring that up in our conversation, we can change the topic or with a great smile, say, "don't worry about it, life is good."

When we read about Mahatma Gandhi, Buddha, Jesus Christ, Abraham Lincoln and so many great personalities in history, one common attribute towards them had been: forgiveness. By cultivating the habit of forgiveness, we benefit ourselves greatly and live in harmony with our loved ones, friends and everyone who come in contact with us daily. Next time, before a destructive word comes out of our mouth towards somebody, let's think "Is this person paying the rent who is occupying the space in my mind ?" And if the answer is "NO", let's send good thoughts towards him or her and lead a peaceful life that benefits all of us. The most destructive things have always been created because of people not getting in the habit of thinking positively about everything in life. The media has corrupted many intelligent minds and rarely, people take few minutes in a day to think about positive things that are happening in their life.

It just takes a few minutes a day, to analyze our daily activities and see if we had hurt somebody with our words or actions and be humble enough to apologize in person and move on. We have no way of knowing how long we are occupying this space on earth and if we knew that, I don't think anybody would like to hurt others and waste time criticizing and complaining about our fellow human beings. It is good to have discussion and come to a positive conclusion about certain issue but just venting poison out is not productive. People who can't forgive, go through so much health challenges and many of them have mental problems too. I wished these individuals would realize the spiritual power that is hidden in forgiveness. We can learn from others and cultivate a "forgiving heart." It definitely brings so much happiness, satisfaction, creative thoughts, harmony and great feeling because forgiving is a good karma and karma never goes unnoticed. It always produces fruits of its kind. We can show the forgiving habit in a small way starting now, in action as it is said, "Your action speaks so loud that I can't hear what you say." By developing forgiving nature, we lead a healthy, happy, peaceful life and can create a great place for us, our children as well as for future generation.